If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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