remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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