brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize