On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm getting married
To pizza
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize