addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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