My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
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we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
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The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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