Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
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you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
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What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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