they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize