Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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