I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize