Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
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Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
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Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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