Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize