i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
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I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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