I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Porn is love you can see.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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