he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
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Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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