Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize