I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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