Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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