just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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