I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
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So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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