Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize