Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
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Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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