Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Alive.
So much puke
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize