I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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