how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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