Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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