it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize