its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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