I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
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puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dear god my vagina.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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