My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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