And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize