I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
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