I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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