I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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