I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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