When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
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Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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