Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize