I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize