I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize