Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize