then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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