Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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