you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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