The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Semen is not good for contacts.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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