Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
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My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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