ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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