Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
