I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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