the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize