yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize